Dating the Yogini way

Dating can be tough for everyone. First, you have to decide what you want and that can be tricky territory for the uninitiated. Think about it, how many of us wonder through our lives in and out of relationships that are unfulfilled and shallow. The passionate relationships burn out quickly or may simmer and boil over, but in the end we are left alone and hungry for something undefined. The practice of dating isn't any different for a Yogi. The biggest difference starts with understanding my own desire. 

Dating is like shopping! I have always used this analogy and the older I get the more  it applies. First, I have to figure out what I want (not NEED). I decide that I want a new shirt, a blue T Shirt. Now, I have to decide how much I am willing to invest in this new shirt. Am I willing to go to multiple stores to find the right one to match my wardrobe or can I pick out any old thing? Do I shop consignment or Macy's?

I will have to sort through a lot of shirts to find one that fits me in the way I like. I don't buy the shirt that is too small, too big, too expensive, or doesn't make me feel good about myself when I wear it. I take my time and when I feel adrift or overwhelmed I think about why I want this new shirt in the first place. I choose to remain open to the possibility that I might be a T Shirt in a consignment shop. I am in perfectly good shape and I still have a lot to offer. The key to making good choices is understanding my own desire and not trying to fit into what someone else wants or needs me to be. I have found this point to be the most challenging part because I have always tried to be what I thought the other person needed me to be. I lost who I was in my effort to make them happy. 

There are ways that this Yoga philosophy complicates meeting new people. A belief can be hard to explain succinctly over text or on the phone for the first time. There is the chance that the other person may think I am a weirdo, this can be confirmed by one simple phone call to any of my sisters. Then, there is the chance that people may think I am a religious fanatic, discounted by another phone call to my sisters. 

How does the Yoga philosophy improve my dating experience? I go back to the idea of desire. I am able to make decisions based on what I want and what I know to be in my best interest. Ahimsa (non-harming) applies to me and to others and when I make decisions about who I date and what activities I participate in I am able to sort through many conflicting desires. I am no angel and not all my choices live up to the lofty Yogi ideals but my salvation is knowing I can learn from all my choices and I will have the chance to make different choices in the near future. 

I am still looking for the Truth and I will be until I take my last breath. My joy is found in the people around me who accept me with no strings or conditions. I am confident that my Beloved walks my Path with me already and when the time is perfect for me to meet someone, I will. So, take heart mt Yogis...

Namaste