My life is evolving in amazing ways and I couldn't be more excited or terrified. I have finally embraced my single life. I am no longer grasping at men or relationships that are like cotton candy; tastes great but too much will give me a cavity and put me in a diabetic coma. Either way, not good for my health. I have thought long and hard about the friends that I try to hold on to and why I should let them go. I feel more sexually empowered now than I have at any time in my life. I believe it will take a very special person to appreciate all I can offer. Mere mortals may explode from the intensity! I have a new appreciation for my body. My Asana practice has tapered a bit but I have started CrossFit. I have learned that the extra skin that I have been carrying around has served it's purpose and is now teaching me to appreciate how far I have come. My diet has been lax, but that will change as I explore my internal landscape more intimately. I did not plan to return to corpo...
I tried getting my mom, my husband, my friends, my job to save me and that really wasn’t working out the way I had expected. When all those options failed I realized I needed to become my own superhero! AWESOME!!! What now?
The first step in change is becoming aware. Awareness is a gift and when you are able to step back, look at the cycle of choice/consequence and measure that against what your ‘ideal’ life looks like, you will notice some disparities.
I can’t identify my turning point because I believe it is now irrelevant. I do know I was miserable. I felt empty and deprived. I felt a deep yearning in my Spirit for something, anything bigger and better than the small cramped life I was living.
I knew I was a good person but my actions weren’t always good. How could I begin to bring those two concepts into harmony, into alignment? I initially changed my behavior in order to change my consequences. I soon realized that I found peace in my new actions and thought less and less of the outcome.
The interesting thing about awareness is that it spirals up and out, perhaps in all directions. Once I realized I wanted change I began to change then I realized I enjoyed the feeling of change and I changed even more.
The Buddha talks about liberation and transformation like the opening of a lotus, Shrek talks about the self as an onion. The truth is found in each petal as the lotus opens and between each layer of the onion skin as it is peeled away. Transformation is a powerful process and we can experience growth in so many ways.
I believe a hero is someone who overcomes seemingly insurmountable odds and perseveres, succeeds even when they seem to fail. A superhero remains true to the betterment of Self before they can be anyone else’s superhero. “She needed a superhero so she became one”. I believe she was already a superhero and didn’t recognize the costume.
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